Ah Tx loh

First and all,

I would like to thank you that who reading this. Today topic, Life..

What are you going to do with your life?
A lot of my friend telling me the same thing. Why you take your life so serious? Always think about future? Why don’t you calm yourself down and think to have some fun?

I replied with very ridiculous answer : You have one and only ONE LIFE, are you going to serious with it? or play with it?

They didn’t really answer me, why? because they are playing with it. I know a lot people. They go clubbing, enjoy for one night stand, go for smoke, drinks and so on. I make friends with them because I want to understand why they do that, and what is the reason I don’t do that. I always get my answer. Which is, I must serious with my life. Of course, serious in term of think of future, not always serious in your life. Think what you are going to do, what are you going to be, and don’t complain, just do what you have to do, every time you complain, it will slow you down.

If you want something, go and get it, don’t wait for it. There is a lot of thing that you think there is no point of return, but actually there is, it’s depend on what you want and what you think, GO GET YOUR OWN FUTURE, instead of waiting. Don’t you agree?

Good Bye..

Why I m I losing confident in myself? Why I losing myself now? Why when i need some one to cheer me, always there is no one? Why do this to me? Are you really want to make me suffer like this? Next month I will going to move, finally say good bye to 2 cats and 1 dog and my memories, something that losing, really can’t make it back to me. I am history… Past….

Is it difficult to love some one? Sometimes a lot of thing that we didn’t doesnt come out with the thing that we expected. When you wish you can find some one final, and suddenly something else coming out. Once you make wrong decision, you cry your own, when you make right decision you are getting happy, but how to you love some one? Or allow some one love you? Or maybe should just leave everything and let god decide what suit us? Just waiting for cloud come(dang wan dou), dun work hard for it, dun think about it, wait until it come?

Sometimes I really think of what I can do to make you happy? Talking about work? Joking? Childish stuff? Telling you that I miss you? Or maybe make myself look like clown? Well, I think all that, just not me, I have to be myself, to talk to you, think what is the best for you, and what is the true about you. Because for those people that who really willling to get know me more, they will start digging, for those dunno who am I, they leave me, remember, what am I now and who am I now is not because of me, but you. You can make my life wonderful also can make my life bad.

So which one are you? Leave comment to me, if you really know who am I, and what am I.

Changes, What I can do to change myself to be a better person? What I must do to make sure I am not doing something wrong, what is the purpose I live? What is the most beautiful thing in my life? Why am I keep hoping that something that never happen? Why I always think about future? Why sometimes I think so much? Why am I asking myself so many question?

Answer : This is how i grew up since I was small. My life is abit different with others, all the mistake that I done, I have to solve it myself. Whenever I fall, I have stand up by myself. It been very hard time, crying alone, talking to myself alone, think alone and fight alone. I wish some one that really can understand me can make me walk futher, I hope some one that telling me the way I walk is OK…. I hope that some one really appreciate me tell me, like me. But all that is just a dream. Everytime I feel there is a hope, God destroy it when I half way doing it, when god stop doing this to me?

Do I believe in god? I believe, but I don’t join any culture, because I only believe that god is only one. We might not know who is the real god, but the one that all believe is actually only 1.

There is no free food drop from the sky, everything that we get is the hard work that we pay. Unless you are a really lucky person, family rich or bf rich, so that they can supply you always. I am not a rich person, I use my both hand to work, to earn money. The thing that I headache always is… when I will had enough money to start my own life…. my family… maybe its too early for me to think that, but i really wish that the hunting game end it before my birthday. Birthday cerebrate alone really pity… talk to yourself, infront of computer writing rubbish. Even sometimes you sing birthday song yourself. Dream…. to be a better person, dream to get a better person… is just a dream? or reality?

Today I was busy for the priority 1 case, again and again, yesterday only sleep 2 1/2 hours, i have no idea why i become like this, coz this situation happen to me for the whole week, but i find out that, maybe i was thinking of something? thinking about future? think about me, and what will happen later. Maybe it’s too early for me to think those, but i don’t think i am young any more, I use to play alot when i study, now it’s time for me to pay back, i know i still can play, but i wont take most of my time to go clubbing, i rather than get to some one that i love, and sitting there… look at them… talk to them… parent really long time didn’t really meet them, start to miss them, should be going back to home town soon. I hope afterward my luck change to be better, this year really make me suffer alot, but after octorber, i feel that, actually not that bad

Am I am failure? Am I a person that doesn’t worth to be success? People same age like me earning 5 digit number, I still having 2k, some people are handling manager position i still a small tiny position. What else i can do to make myself clear? to make myself more successful? do i need a goal? what is my goal? I still searching for it. I lost of goal half year ago. I must find it back!

Just recently i met a interesting person, she doesn’t talk much, and I feel that she is interesting because of the personality, we only met for half hours, doesn’t talk much, topic more on office stuff, trying to understand her more, so decide to go friendster to read her blog, and find out she write something similar to what i write, hmmm… interesting… at least i found some one that talk and think the same way, I was always worry that i am some one that who only think those thing, but now… at least i know i am not alone.